They go to sea in a Sieve.

The Humbees (with apologies to Edward Lear)

       

I

 

They go to sea in a Sieve, they do,

   In a Sieve they go to sea:

In spite of all their world could say,

On a winter’s morn, on a stormy day,

   In a Sieve they go to sea!

And when the Sieve turns round and round,

And few people cried, ‘You’ll all be drowned!’

They call aloud, ‘Our Sieve ain’t big,

But we don’t care a button! we don’t care a fig!

   In a Sieve we’ll go to sea!’

      Here and on, Here and on,
       Are the lands where the Humbees live 

        Their eyes are down and their heads are gone

       And they go to sea in a Sieve.

 

II

 

They sail away in a Sieve, they do,

   In a Sieve they sail so fast,

With only a beautiful national veil

Tied with a mirror by way of a sail,

   To a small endorphing mast;

And very few said, who saw them go,

‘O won’t they be soon upset, you know!

For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long,

And happen what may, it’s extremely wrong

   In a Sieve to sail so fast!’

       Here and on, Here and on,

       Are the lands where the Humbees live

   Their eyes are down and their heads are gone,

         And they go to sea in a Sieve.

 

 

III

 

The water it soon comes in, it does,

   The water it soon comes in;

So to keep them dry, they wrap their feet

In a holy paper all folded neat,

   And they fasten it down with a spin.

And they passed the night in a fuckery-jar,

And each of them says, ‘How wise we are!

Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,

Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,

   While around in our Sieve we grin!’

       Here and on, Here and on,

       Are the lands where the Humbees live

   Their eyes are down and their heads are gone,

         And they go to sea in a Sieve.

 

 

IV

 

And all night long they sail away;

   And when the sun goes down,

They whistle and warble a boring song

To a humming mound of alg'rithmic pong,

   In the shade of the mountains brawn.

‘O ! How happy we are,

When we live in a sieve and a fuckery-jar,

And all night long we gyre and gimble,

We sail away with a collective symbol,

   In the shade of the mountains brawn!’

       Here and on, Here and on,

       Are the lands where the Humbees live

   Their eyes are down and their heads are gone,

         And they go to sea in a Sieve.

 

 

V

 

They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,

   To a land all covered with trees,

And they bought an 'Orse, and a useful Book,

And a pound of Flesh, and a Butcher's Hook,

   And a hive of puritan Bees.

And they bought a Dog, and an empty cup,

And a scary Monkey that'll cut you up,

And forty bottles of Scottish Mist,

   And no end of Hollywood Cheese.

       Here and on, Here and on,

       Are the lands where the Humbees live

   Their eyes are down and their heads are gone,

         And they go to sea in a Sieve.

 

 

VI

 

And twelve thousand years they all look back,

   In twelve thousand years or more,

And very few say, ‘How small we’ve grown!’

For we’ve been to the Fakes, and the Torrible Zone,

   And the hills of the Chunt'ring Bore;

And we drink our health, and prepare a feast

Of dumplings made of infected yeast;

And everyone says, ‘If we only live,

We too will go to sea in a Sieve,—

   To the hills of the Chunt'ring Bore!’

       Here and on, Here and on,

       Are the lands where the Humbees live

   Their eyes are down and their heads are gone,

         And they go to sea in a Sieve.